Feels like Goddamn Insomnia
by adventuresofteamcraig
Summary: Craig has trouble sleeping and doesn't know why. He tells his friends that it started after he had a dream about a bunch of alien cops abducting his parents. Turns out that those alien cops have been watching him ever since he was born.
1. Chapter 1

"Have a good sleep, Craig." Craig's mother planted a small light kiss on Craig's forehead. Craig just smiled in return as his mother tucked him in and left the room, not forgetting to turn the light off. As soon as he was alone, Craig curled up into a ball and closed his eyes, hoping to hit slumber.

Unfortunately for him, that didn't happen.

He wanted to go to sleep but his eyes won't let him. Every time he closes his eyes, familiar images flashes in his mind, keeping him wide awake.

He sat up and scratched the back of his head in irritation. It all started because of that stupid pointless dream. He shook his head as images from the dream came flashing back in his mind again. He covered his ears; trying his best to ignore his parents' screams of pain in his head.

"_Somebody help us!"_

"_Please don't hurt us!"_

"_N-No…! Aaaah!"_

"_Oh my god!"_

"_Why us? Whhhyyy?"_

"MOM!" Craig quickly yelled, realizing that he has been hugging and biting his pillow for a while now. His mother quickly rushed inside, turning the light on.

"What's wrong, Craig?" she asked curiously, wondering what's up with her son when there doesn't seem to be anything wrong in his room. Craig looked at her with fear-filled eyes then looked away.

"I can't sleep." He replied, not wanting to tell her about the dream in fear that she just might find him silly.

"Again?" His mother sighed exasperatedly. "Craig, are you sure you can't sleep or do you just want your mommy's attention?" She smiled at this, thinking how adorable of her son to be so desperate for a mother's attention.

Craig blinked twice.

"Why would I want your attention?" he asked bluntly but curiously.

Okay, maybe his mother thought wrong.

"Go to sleep, Craig. This has been happening for days now. No more playtime." His mother kissed him on the forehead then left the room, turning the light off again.

Craig just stared at the door, not wanting to lie back down on his bed. He can't sleep. He can't sleep at all. How will he sleep with all that constant screaming of pain in his head?

—

_Bus stop…_

"Hey guys…" Craig greeted his three friends tiredly, rubbing his right eye as he made a huge sleepy yawn.

"Whoa dude." Clyde raised a brow at him. "You look like you haven't gotten any sleep last night."

"I know." Craig replied in a bad-tempered mood. "I couldn't sleep last night."

"W-Why not—ack!" Tweek asked but then twitched and screamed at the end of his sentence like he usually does. Craig didn't answer right away as he shoved his hands in his pockets and thought about his dream again.

"Okay, _promise _me you guys won't laugh at me." He finally faced them with a determined expression.

"Of course." Token shrugged his shoulders. "Why would we laugh at you?"

"Well…" Craig hesitated, looking down at the ground. After a moment, he finally looked up at them and revealed, "I couldn't sleep last night because I had a dream about a couple of alien cops abducting my parents. Ever since I had that dream, my eyes wouldn't let me hit dreamland _at all._"

The three other boys just stared at him.

"So…" Clyde drawled. "…you can't sleep because you had a scary nightmare?"

"Yeah." Craig nodded.

_Silence…_

"Dude, and how old are you?" Token asked him a rhetorical question. For some odd reason, he and Clyde suddenly burst out laughing while Tweek just watched them in confusion.

"Come on, Craig!" Clyde laughed. "You're ten years old now! Not five! You shouldn't be scared of a stupid dream!"

"It's not a stupid dream!" Craig growled. "It really looked so real to me!"

"Yeah, that's what they always say." Token chuckled; wiping a tear from his eye then nudged Tweek. "Even Tweekers here won't cry because of some silly nightmare, right Tweek?"

"W-What?" Tweek asked in his usual shocked tone. "I-I don't cry! I don't cry at all! I'm not a cry-baby! B-But I'm not saying Craig is a cry-baby since he didn't really c-cry because—ack!—of that dream! Craig is not a cry-baby—ack! Cry-babies are stupid! No wait! I didn't mean to offend you Clyde! You're not a cry-baby, just very—ack!—emotional!"

"Calm down dude." Token patted his shoulder.

"Look…" Craig sighed in irritation. "I think that dream has some kind of warning on me or something. I mean, why would it give such a great effect on me, you know?"

"I think you're just being paranoid." Clyde firmly stated. "You should try taking sleeping pills or something".

"No way am I taking sleeping pills!" Craig snapped. "You guys just don't get it!"

The three boys looked at each other again then at the boy.

"Have you tried telling this to your parents?" Token questioned, tilting his head slightly to the side.

"No." Craig shook his head, facing the road while looking down. "I'm afraid they'll laugh at me too like what you guys just did. You know what, just forget it. Maybe it was just a stupid dream."

The bus finally came and Craig was the first one to enter, obviously pissed off.

—

_In the canteen…_

"Hey Craig, you okay?" Stan asked as he looked at the dark-haired boy from across the table.

"I'm fine." Craig bluntly replied, staring down at his tray of lunch without even touching it. Clyde, who was sitting beside him, looked at him with worry then slightly nudged him on the shoulder to get his attention.

"Hey…" he whispered in order to keep their conversation private from their other friends. "Look man, I'm sorry I laughed at your dream and I seriously think it's not stupid."

"Yeah, whatever." Craig carelessly replied.

"And I _really _think there's something unusual about your dream. I heard that some people spotted a few aliens last night." Clyde added which really got his best friend's attention. Craig quickly dragged the brunette to the boys' bathroom, leaving their lunch out in the open for Cartman to devour.

As soon as they're in the washroom, Craig quickly faced Clyde.

"Aliens? Last night? How?" he asked quickly, desperate for information.

"Well… I saw it on the news but I also saw an alien with my own two eyes." Clyde informed him. "A bunch of South Park civilians found two aliens somewhere near the City Hall."

"What are they doing near the City Hall?" Craig asked in deep curiosity.

"I dunno." Clyde shrugged his shoulders. "I also saw one too. It was in the middle of the night and I was awaken by the sound of the bushes outside. Once I peeked outside, I was surprised to see an alien taking a whizz!"

_Silence…_

"You saw an alien…" Craig began. "…taking a whizz?"

"Yeah!"

"In the bushes?"

"Uh-huh!"

"Weird." Craig tapped his finger on his chin as different thoughts ran in his mind. "Can you tell me what the aliens look like?"

"They're tall like this." Clyde showed him by extending his arms. "And they have huge long oblong-shaped eyes and they're pretty pale".

"That's what they exactly look in my dream." Craig discovered, feeling his heart pound out of excitement, fear and confusion. Could this dream really mean something? Does it have a deeper meaning in it?

"What do we do, dude?" Clyde questioned. "Will they actually really go after your parents…?"

"That's not impossible…."


	2. Chapter 2

_In Craig's bedroom… 9 in the evening…_

"Tell me again why we're here…?" Token asked as he watched Craig look out the window with binoculars. The gang was all in Craig's room since Craig called them and said that it was so urgent that if they don't come, the world will become a huge giant shit.

"We're waiting for the aliens to come." Craig answered, not taking his eyes off the window.

"A-Aliens?" Tweek exclaimed in shock. "There are aliens on the loose—ack! How? Oh Jesus Christ, I don't want aliens to know that we're—ack!—waiting for them! What if they find out and abduct us? Oh god… Pressure! I can't take the pressure!" Tweek quickly hid under the covers of Craig's bed, shivering in fear.

Clyde sat down beside the blonde and patted Tweek's head.

"I don't think the aliens will be abducting us." He denied.

"W-Why not?" Tweek asked, still under the covers.

"Because we think they're going to abduct Craig's parents instead."

"WHAT?" Tweek exclaimed, jumping out from the covers and quickly rushing towards Craig to hug him.

"H-Hey, dude." Craig said, losing his focus from the window.

"I-I'm so sorry that will happen to your parents!" Tweek said, hugging his friend tighter. "They're such nice people and—"

"Calm down, Tweek." Craig shook his head then looking back out the window. "My parents won't be abducted by aliens. I won't let them."

"O-Oh." Tweek said understandingly, pulling away.

"So you're going to fight off these aliens?" Token asked, raising a brow. "Dude, even the police can't beat those aliens."

"That's because the cops are morons." Craig stated.

Token opened his mouth to say something in return when a high-pitched scream from downstairs beat him to it. The boys looked at each other in shock then quickly rushed down to see what the ruckus is. The scream was found in the kitchen and the kids nearly screamed upon seeing Craig's parents all tied in metallic wires, their feet dangling in the air.

"WHAT THE HELL?" Token yelled in shock.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Ruby ran towards her parents but her big brother pulled her away.

"Don't, you idiot!" Craig snapped at the little girl.

"Kids!" Mr. Tucker yelled as the wires waved him around. "Hide somewhere safe! Now!"

But before the kids could move, four tall aliens stepped inside the kitchen from the backyard. They made dolphin-like sounds, obviously talking to each other but as soon as they saw the kids, they stopped. One alien waved his hand in circle motion and just like that, Craig's parents were pulled out from the house.

"Holy shit, dude!" Clyde screamed as Ruby quickly hid under the couch.

One alien pointed at Craig then said something to the other alien. They nodded at each other then glanced at the tallest boy of the group.

"Hctib ouy kcuf." The alien said in a high-pitched voice as two wires entered the house and grabbed Craig by the arms.

"Hey!" Craig yelled, struggling from its grip. "Let go of me!"

The alien waved his hand in a circle motion and suddenly, Craig was pulled out from the house but Clyde was quick enough to grab his foot.

"You can't take him!" The brunette yelled as he tried to pull Craig away from the wires. Tweek and Token quickly helped him out with Token pulling the brunette by the waist and Tweek pulling Token by the waist.

The aliens looked at each other and shook their heads.

"Sdratsab eseht nmad." One alien said, waving his hand in a triangular motion and one wire whipped Clyde on the face, causing the little boy to let go of Craig.

"GUYS!" Craig screamed as he was pulled away followed by the aliens.

The three just stared with wide eyes. Clyde looked down and spotted Craig's blue chullo hat. He quickly picked it up and faced the two boys.

"We need to report this to the police." He said firmly.

"But Craig said they're morons." Token said.

"Y-Yeah…" Tweek nodded in agreement. "They won't be any of—ack!—help."

"It's better than doing nothing, right?" Clyde said, walking pass them. "Come on."

"Wait!" Ruby rushed after the brunette. "I wanna go with you guys."

"Alright." Clyde nodded then looked at his two friends. "Let's go, guys."

—

"_Somebody help us!"  
>"Please don't hurt us!"<br>"N-No…! Aaaah!"  
>"Oh my god!"<br>"Why us? Whhhyyy?"_

"Mom… Dad… Ruby…" Craig groaned in his sleep, shaking his head from side to side. He felt something poke his cheek but he refused to open his eyes. It has been a while since he has gotten any sleep and he doesn't want to spoil this one. But the constant poking irritated him that he had just to open his eyes to see who was the asshole that enjoys disturbing his sleep.

As soon as he opened his eyes, he realized that he was tied on a wall with metallic cuffs on his wrists and ankles. His hair was in disarray and dark tired circles are visible under his eyes as he looked around in fear. Where is he? Where are his parents? His sister? His friends?

Then slowly, it dawned to him.

He and his parents were abducted by aliens.

But where are his parents? He tried looking around as hard as he could despite his sleepy blurry vision, trying to find his parents but to no avail.

"Finally, you're awake."

He glanced at his side and nearly screamed upon seeing one of the aliens that attacked his house earlier.

"Please be calm, earthling." The alien said gently in a raspy voice. "We bring you no harm."

"Where am I?" Craig managed to croak out. "Where are my parents?"

"You're in our planet, of course. My name is Gluteus Maximus" The alien answered, not bothering to answer his second question. "You have no idea how long we have been waiting for this moment."

"What are you talking about?" Craig asked, furrowing his eyebrows once he managed to adjust his vision clearly.

"We have been watching you." Gluteus confessed, walking towards a huge flat screen TV and pressing a button from the remote controller he was holding using his four fingers to reveal Craig's baby pictures and videos in the screen. "Ever since you set foot in earth, we have been watching you."

"What the hell?" Craig said in a creeped out tone.

"Craig, did you know that your parents aren't really your parents?" Gluteus asked, flipping the channel of the television to reveal videos of baby Craig being taken care of by his mother.

"What the fuck are you talking about?" Craig asked, still in his blunt tone.

"You were born _here, _Craig." Gluteus explained patiently. "In the planet of Assholians."

_Silence…_

"Assholians?" Craig asked.

"That's right." Gluteus nodded. "You see, one of our princes made love with an earthling in earth. He disguised himself as a very good-looking man in order to get 'laid'. And that's how he got pregnant with you".

"W-Whoa, wait a sec…" Craig shook his head. "HE got pregnant with ME?"

"Correct."

"But I thought only the stupid girls give birth?"

"Not in Assholians." The alien shook his head, flipping the channel again to show a video of the prince giving birth to him. "This is how you were born".

"OH DUDE!" Craig quickly looked away, shutting his eyes close. "NOT COOL!"

"In Assholians, it is the male species that give birth." Gluteus said, turning the television off.

"So what? I'm half-alien half-human?" Craig asked, now looking back at the alien again.

"That is correct." Gluteus nodded his head.

"So I might give birth in the future? A baby can come out of my butt?" Craig asked, his eyes widening in fear and shock. The alien thought for a moment but then he shook his head.

"We don't know yet." He answered. "But we are sure about one thing; you are next to the throne of Assholians. You shall be our king."

"Why me?"

"Your real father is suffering from a terrible illness and you're his only child." Gluteus explained. "If you're wondering why you were raised in earth… well it's because, your father couldn't bring to let his own father know about his sin so he sent you to somewhere safe which is earth. He then ordered us to look after you so we pretty much watch everything you do".

Craig felt his stomach twist in disgust at the last statement.

"But I don't want to rule Assholians." Craig blinked twice. "I wanna go home now. Just bring me and my parents back to our home".

Gluteus was silent for a while but then slowly, he looked at Craig and said in a deeper tone, "I'm afraid we cannot do that, Craig… You are the greatest Asshole we know and you're the only one who can rule our planet."

—

"So your little friend and his parents got abducted by aliens?" Officer Barbrady asked after writing something down on his pad paper then looking at the four kids in front of him who are seated in individual seats.

"Yes." Clyde nodded. "Those aliens came with weird wires and abducted our friend."

"And our parents…" Ruby added sadly.

"Look, kids…" Officer Barbrady sighed, rubbing his temples. "…we don't have time for your fun and games. There are no aliens in South Park, I assure you that".

"What?" Token asked, furrowing his eyebrows. "But the news said that a few civilians spotted aliens last night!"

"Yyyeah but that turns out to be a bunch of teenagers dress up as aliens." Officer Barbrady explained, setting his notepad away. "Silly kids and their pranks."

"But that doesn't make—ack!—sense!" Tweek said a bit angrily. "How did you know they're just a b-bunch of teenagers?"

"Umm…" Officer Barbrady hesitated. "…internet?"

"Goddammit." Clyde growled, standing up from his seat. "Craig was right. Cops are morons." He then walked out of the police station followed by his three friends.

"Drive home safely, kids!" Officer Barbrady bid them goodbye.

"Now what do we do?" Token asked as soon as they're all outside.

"I don't know." Clyde shook his head. "I have no idea how we can contact those aliens. We don't even know where they are…"

"I know how to contact them." Ruby tugged on Clyde's sleeve. "I saw something on TV. There are a bunch of scientists who wore foil paper as clothes and had pots over their heads. Then they each held a spatula and waved it in the night sky. They actually managed to talk to the aliens!"

"Ruby, those movies aren't real-" Clyde began but Token cut him off.

"It's worth the try, right?" their dark-skinned friend said, nudging the brunette by the shoulder. "It's better than not doing anything".

"Let's try it—ack!" Tweek exclaimed.

—

"Are you getting anything?" Token asked Tweek, waving his spatula in the air.

"H-Hold on." Tweek said as he tried to stretch his spatula farther in the sky and waving it around with his tongue slightly sticking out. Ruby watched the blonde boy with pure interest and did the same.

"This is stupid." Clyde crossed his arms, embarrassed by what they're wearing.

"Just do it, Clyde." Token rolled his eyes. "It might work".

"This won't work at all!" Clyde snapped, throwing his spatula on the ground. "Not everything you see in the movie is true!"

"Wait a minute!" Token exclaimed with wide eyes, waving his spatula. "I think… I think I'm getting something…!"

"Really? What is it—ack!" Tweek asked hopefully.

"The aliens…" Token closed his eyes to concentrate. "The aliens are telling me that… that… Clyde is a big joy-killing douche". The three, except for Clyde, burst out in laughter while Clyde just glared at their African American friend.

"That wasn't funny, dude." The brunette said through gritted teeth.

"Just lightening up the mood." Token chuckled.


	3. Chapter 3

"Where are you taking me?" Craig asked contemptuously as a bunch of wires carried him to some huge long golden bridge. Below the bridge, Craig can see a bunch of aliens in different colors doing different activities. They all look pretty healthy and happy which means their current king must be doing a good job ruling their world.

"We're taking you to our king." Gluteus, who was walking beside him, said. "We hope that he may convince you in staying and rule Assholian."

"Seriously dude." Craig rolled his eyes. "I have no interest in ruling this goddamn planet".

"Oh but you do." Gluteus insisted. "Soon enough."

They entered a huge looking bedroom that's filled with different paintings of different aliens, obviously the previous rulers of Assholians. At the center of the room was a king-sized bed and on the bed was a weak and old alien, lying peacefully on the bed.

"Gnik eb ot tnaw ton soed elohssa eht." Gluteus informed the old-looking king. Craig was then dropped by at the side of the old alien who just weakly and slowly looked at him.

"Craig…" he moaned. "…why do you not want to be king? Anyone would kill to be in your position right now."

"Then let them kill each other and have my position." Craig shrugged. "I just wanna go home."

"But who will rule Assholians?"

"I dunno… Someone who's more of an asshole than me, I guess."

"I don't think that's possible, Craig." The old alien, who's obviously the king, stated. "You're the greatest Asshole anyone has ever known. No one can possibly replace you. This is your destiny. Not just anyone's."

"I've had enough of this." Craig advanced towards the door but two aliens blocked his way.

"I was afraid of this." The king sighed, sitting up from his bed as Craig turned to look at him. "If you wish not to rule Assholians, you must… compete with Asscracker."

"Who?" Craig questioned.

—

"GET READY FOR THE BATTLE BETWEEN THE AMAZING ASSCRACKER AND THE GREATEAST ASSHOLE, CRAIG TUCKER!"

The crowd went wild as soon as the announcer announced the big news.

Craig, who was dressed in strange foil paper and was holding a small sword and a huge shield, looked up at the crowd. He was dragged inside an advanced looking coliseum filled with screaming and cheering aliens of different colors.

"Oh shit."

—

"Got anything, Clyde?" Token asked, still waving his spatula in the air. Clyde, who eventually gave up and ended up waving his spatula in the air, grumbled under his breath as he shook his head.

"I still think this is stupid." He muttered angrily.

"J-Just do it—ack!" Tweek said, brushing Ruby's hair with his fingers gently. Craig's little sister got tired and wanted to go to sleep so Tweek sat down on the grass and let her sleep on his lap. Token and Clyde are the only ones who ended up waving their spatulas in the air.

"We've been doing this for two hours now." Clyde whined. "My arm is getting tired."

"If you want to save Craig, then it's worth it." Token said, shaking his head in disbelief. Clyde sighed exasperatedly as he continued to wave the spatula, muttering anger-filled word under his breath.

Suddenly, he stopped waving his spatula when he started hearing something echoing from the pot on his head.

"Hey, I can hear something!" He exclaimed. "Yeah, I can definitely hear something!"

"What is it?" Token questioned.

"I… I can hear…" Clyde began, waving his spatula again. "…screams and cheers…?"

"Screams and—ack!—cheers? But aren't we supposed to hear a-alien talk?" Tweek asked, looking at the two boys with wide eyes.

"Wait, quiet." Clyde said as he waved his spatula faster.

"_Today's challenge will be a hot topic in our daily news! Our greatest undefeatable fighter, Asscracker, will battle with our king-to-be and the greatest asshole, Craig Tucker!"_

"WHAT?" Clyde yelled in shock. "Craig is going to fight some big alien called Asscracker!"

"Oh no!" Tweek exclaimed.

"_Here's our challenger, Asscracker!"_

The announcement was followed by loud screams and cheers which gave Clyde a slight headache but he still continued to wave his spatula.

"_And here's our future king, Craig Tucker!"_

"CRAIG!" Clyde called.

—

"And here's our future king, Craig Tucker!"

The cheers went wilder as everyone looked down at Craig who was just staring at the huge giant alien in front of him. Asscracker looks far from the other aliens Craig had seen. He has huge biceps and instead of oblong-shaped eyes, his are round ones. Foam was drooling from his mouth, making him look like he has rabbis. But despite the other aliens being tall, this one was pretty short. Shorter than Craig actually.

"_CRAIG!"_

Craig almost jumped upon hearing Clyde's voice in his head.

"C-Clyde? Dude? Is that you?"

"_Yes, it's me! Dude, where the heck are you?"_

"In Assholians, the planet for Assholes".

"_Why is it so noisy there?"_

"It turns out I'll be having a deadly battle with a steroid-looking midget".

"_Oh no! Can you handle that?"_

"Now what do you think?"

"LET THE BATTLE START!" The announcer screamed and the cheers went wilder as Asscracker advanced towards Craig who just looked at him with no expression at all.

"_Craig, dude! You have got to get out of there!"_

"Gee, you're right Clyde. I've never thought of that before."

"_Just get outta there, goddammit!"_

Craig blinked twice and looked down at the hideous looking alien in front of him.

"It's globbering time!" The alien growled in a deep husky voice as he raised both of his arms to pound Craig once and for all. But before he could do that, Craig raised his middle finger at him, obviously flipping him off.

The cheers died down.

Asscracker's jaw dropped in shock.

"_Craig? You still there? You still alive?"_

_Silence…_

"Oh. My. God." The announcer said in shock.

"He did…" one of the aliens in the audience said. "…the finger!"

"No…" Asscracker said, staring at the taller boy's middle finger. Suddenly, the alien began to melt in steam. "NOOOO!" He screamed, trying to grab onto Craig who just simply stepped back while watching him until the short alien was nothing but a puddle of goo.

"HE FLIPPED HIM OFF!" One of the aliens in the audience screamed and just like that, everyone started to panic. A rampage began and everyone began to freak out for some odd reason.

"_CRAIG! ARE YOU STILL THERE?"_

"Calm down, dude. I'm coming home now."

"_Great! Hurry!"_

"Wait, I have to find my parents first."

Craig knew Clyde said something else but he lost his focus when two aliens appeared in front of him. Wires suddenly came out from their buttholes and grabbed onto Craig then dragged him out of the coliseum for safety.

"Am I going home now?" Craig asked, his feet dangling in the air.

"I'm afraid so." Gluteus sighed, shaking his head.

"What about my parents?"

"We are sending them home too."

"Finally." Craig rolled his eyes. He was then dropped on the floor and he looked up to see his parents also tied on the wall with cuffs around their wrists and ankles. But they were unconscious, unaware of their own surroundings.

"Who will rule Assholians now?" One of the aliens asked in depression.

"I don't know…" Gluteus admitted, looking down while shaking his head. "I guess we'll have to live our lives without a king to take care of our planet".

Craig turned around to look at the two aliens who were looking down at the ground in depression. Even though he thinks that the planet was pretty shitty, he still thinks that they deserve to be treated well by a king.

But he doesn't want to be a king.

He wants to stay where he really belongs.

He just wants to live a normal life.

"I know who can be king." He finally spoke, getting the attention of two aliens. "I want to hand him my throne".

"Who?" One alien asked.

"Gluteus Maximus." Craig answered, pointing at the kind alien who he's been with the whole time. "I think he can make a great king for this shitty planet of yours".

"M-Me?" Gluteus stammered. "I don't know…"

"You can be a great ruler." Craig nodded. "I'm handing my throne to you. Now get me and my parents outta here."

The aliens looked at each other then smiled. They glanced at Craig and nodded.

"Thank you, Craig Tucker."

—

Clyde sighed in defeat as he sat on the grass. Token quickly sat down beside him in worry.

"Well? What happened?" he asked.

"I lost contact with him." Clyde said, looking down at the ground. "He said that he's coming home but… I heard a scary deep scream… I don't know what happened to him. Maybe he won't come back anymore." Slowly, he began to sob. "He's deeaad! We lost hiiiim!"

"N-NO!" Tweek screamed, accidentally waking Ruby up.

"What's the matter, Tweek?" the little girl asked.

"YOUR FAMILY IS DEAD!" The blonde broke the news to her. "THE ALIENS ATE THEM—ACK!"

"WHAT?" Ruby cried. "I DON'T HAVE A FAMILY ANYMORE?"

"Oh the horror!" Clyde wailed, kicking his legs.

Token just watched the three wail then sighed, shaking his head. Suddenly, three figures emerged behind them. Seeing their shadows, the three turned around and their eyes widened in surprise.

"Ruby!" Mrs. Tucker said happily, gathering her little daughter in her arms.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Ruby said happily as her parents hugged her.

Clyde, Tweek and Token smiled upon seeing Craig approaching them while scratching the back of his head. The three cheered and Tweek was the first one to hug him happily.

"You're b-back!" The blonde almost cried in joy. "I thought you were d-dead—ack!—"

Craig just smiled and patted his head. "Why the heck would I let those assholes kill me?" he asked with a chuckle. As soon as Tweek pulled away, Token gave their leader a friendly nudge.

"I knew you'd be able to get out of there, buddy." He chuckled. "Clyde and Tweek were in the verge of losing their minds".

"That's not true." Clyde nudged Token, wiping a tear from his cheek then smiled at Craig. "Good to know you're finally back, dude. I really thought you were a goner." He said, handing Craig his hat.

"Don't you have any faith in me?" Craig joked, raising a brow at him.

"To be honest, no." Clyde chuckled. "You are the greatest asshole anyone has ever known."

"I guess so." Craig chuckled but then he noticed something. "Uh… Guys? What are you wearing?"

_Silence…_


End file.
